Drivel ˈdri-vəl 1 : to let saliva dribble from the mouth 2 : to talk stupidly and carelessly

Can’t Meet You Here Tomorrow

I’m ready. No more saying goodbye. No more justification or explanation. No more milking all possible value out of these last few hours with my dog. No more watching my inebriated father molest my date at my going-away dinner in an effort to apologize for announcing that he wished I’d have married this other girl I dated ten years ago. It’s all over but the leaving. Well … not exactly, but that’s been the story these last couple weeks. I’ve already run into three people who thought I’d left already. They looked frustrated, as if I’d played some kind of trick on them. It’s feels like someone is slowly pulling the dressing off an old wound that you can’t reach or you’d have ripped it off already. Part of me wishes I’d have waited until today to spring it on everybody. It’s too much time, too much talk.  Praise whatever maker you believe in that none of us knows our own death, or you’d exhaust yourself in an effort to squeeze as much joy as humanly possible into each and every second as they slowly tick off the doomsday clock. It’s like work. However, conversations do have a little more bulk these days. It almost makes you wish you could stay in this perpetual state of near-departure forever. People throw parties for you; they buy you gifts and speak to you with feeling about important shit. Maybe it’s a shame there isn’t more of that around without someone dying, or going off to war, or prison, or Korea. Although, given enough time, I’m sure it would become as tiresome as small talk.

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go. This is what I wanted. I gotta say, it’s a little scary. This is me taking a deep breath. More walking, less talking. This is me parachuting. There’s no way in hell I spent enough time listening to those “How To Speak Korean” audio discs. This is me throwing myself against the rocks. I hope this internet thing continues to thrive. This is me getting lost. What’s Korean for, “Hey, now wait a second, that wasn’t in my contract?”

5 responses

  1. Tammi Bowser

    I certainly hope you keep up with this blog even while in Korea! You are a fantastic writer and I really enjoy reading your work. =) Now off with you already! 😉

    April 26, 2010 at 8:48 am

  2. Dawne

    행운을 빌어요 트로이. 난 당신이 안전한 여행을 기원합니다. 난 아이디어가있다면 어떤 이건 말이 안되는 … 난 바보가 구글 번역기를 사용했습니다. 넌 이미보고 있습니다. 난 정말 당신과 함께 물론 라디오를 통해 롤 침대에서 아침을 그리워 …

    April 26, 2010 at 10:07 am

    • Dawne

      Ha… soooo I don’t recommend using Google translator Troy… I used it in reverse to see exactly how it worked annnnd it didn’t… lol bottom line.. Miss you in the morning!! I hope you enjoy yourself and make a difference there because you already have here…

      April 28, 2010 at 11:05 pm

  3. Mandy Partner

    Pull the chute and land, can’t wait to here your version of Korea.

    April 26, 2010 at 1:58 pm

  4. Kasi Damiano

    You’re only lost until you know where you are… And if you’re happy, which you will be soon, then who cares if you’re lost! Keep in touch 🙂

    April 29, 2010 at 5:14 pm

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